St. Cathy

I have been thinking a praying a lot over the last couple of days about how I want to be remembered when I die.  And to me that is not about how many prizes I have won, or accolades I have gotten, it is about how people remember me.  And isn't that what this Fit and Holy Challenge is about?  Isn't it about becoming more of the best version of ourselves, which is about becoming as much like a saint as we can here on earth?  And my conclusion is that it really is all about relationships.  It is about how we love, live and serve as Jesus did.  This is the kind of homily that I want to be preached at my funeral:

HomilyCathy Sokolowski

From our scriptures today we heard:

“There is one ray of hope…His compassion never ends.

Gracious is the Lord and just, Yes our God is merciful. 

The Lord keeps the little one.

Chastised a little, they shall be greatly blessed

because God tried them and found them worthy of himself.

Grace and mercy are with his holy ones.

Therefore, anyone who humbles himself like this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

As beautiful as these words are and as comforting as they might be to all of us… as eloquently as they speak to our belief in eternal life these words are not adequate to describe the Cathy my wife and I, and many of you all know.

The Cathy I remember is the eager altar server who, near the end of her dad’s diaconal ordination rose from her seat, paraded over to Bishop Mike and proceeded to give him a hug – a huge hug.  As far as I could tell she didn’t say a word but it was clear that what was really important to her in that moment of celebration was NOT pomp and circumstances. 

What was important to her was that the Bishop Mike needed a hug – so she, just, gave him her very best hug.  It caught the Bishop by surprise -- you could see it on his face -- but he just hugged her back and his grin was a mile wide.  By the way her hug didn’t surprise anyone who already knew Cathy.

I remember a Cathy who was constantly teased mercilessly by her dad, a dad who can’t pronounce Albert Pujols correctly.  She had to constantly deal with his pointed wit.  I am not sure she understood most of what he said but I do know this -- She just loved him even more.

I remember a young lady who would decide on the spur of the moment to approach the microphone at our retreats or continuing education to share her thoughts with the whole deacon community. 

I can’t remember any specific thing she ever shared   -- Well except for the time she decided to chastise me and her dad when we were arguing over prayer.

I do know that I would sometimes look around and realize the whole deacon community, husbands and wives, were focused on what she had to say.

I also know that what she had to say was always pointed to relationship and to love.  It might be about a puppy or baseball or her dad or an experience she wanted to share – but it was always about life and love.

I remember a Cathy who for whatever reason decided she liked ME.  I think the phrase is “she glommed onto me”. 

I have received countless hugs, kisses, shared wisdom and invitations to eat at her table and to sit next to her.  She often sat next to me in the chapel at Nazareth and when the mood struck she would just wander by and just say hi by putting her arms around me.  Why did she like me?  In the words of my granddaughter, “I have not a clue!”

I just accepted her attention as a true gift – and I was honored to be considered her friend.

I also remember the crushing blow she experienced at the loss of her mom Caroline while we were all on retreat at Nazareth.  That was a weekend I will never forget.

I don’t remember a thing about the retreat but I do know that Cathy needed a hug buddy and for whatever reason – God knows – my wife and I got to be her hug buddies.  It is comforting to us to know that now she has her mom as her hug buddy forever.

It is gratifying to see so many here and to have had to move the service from the church into the gym.  I am pleased that so many deacons and their wives came her for this service. I am not surprised that so many of you came to honor Cathy. I know that most of you are here because your lives have also been touched by this remarkable young lady.

In her spontaneity, in her joy of people, in her desire to love, in her simple acceptance of life, Cathy was a saint. 

Now I know our church has a formal process of declaring the sainthood of certain people.  But what the Church is essentially saying in each case is that we know that this or that person is absolutely in heaven.

I now declare to you, with every fiber of my being, something which I believe many of you have already concluded -- Cathy IS a saint.  Cathy IS in heaven.  I know this and you know this:

her simple love of others, her gracious gifting of herself to all she met, the hugs, kisses, rubbed shoulders, confidences, shared moments – all of these are my proofs.

Cathy is and will always be part of who I am. 

She is and always will be part of my wife’s life.

She is and always will be a part of the Deacon Community. 

She is and always will be part of the Grangeville people.

She is and always will be part of the spirit of Christ alive in our hearts and in our thoughts. 

To me, Cathy IS the young child placed before the apostles.  She is the one called by Jesus to stand at his side.  She is the one who so spontaneously approaches Jesus that her enthusiasm almost compels us to join her at his feet.

My wife and I will miss Cathy. She was our friend.

I am sure that many of you will miss her even more.

When Don asked me a few months ago if I would preach at Cathy’s funeral I was rocked to my core.  I was humbled.  I was pained.  And I was just a little worried that if I didn’t do a good job he might have a few pointed words for me after everything was over.

Actually, right after his request I had to go to the chapel and while sitting in a chair in the chapel I wept.  Over the next 2 or 3 days I would catch myself thinking about Cathy and I would start to cry.  I didn’t want to lose her and somehow it just didn’t seem fair that this person who loved Albert Pujols and puppies and liked to tease me about my New York Yankees would be gone. 

I know that Cathy really suffered in her last few months of life.  Don and April finally reached the point where they asked if we, the deacon community, and you – those who loved Cathy the most, would pray for an end to her pain and torment. 

I know that some of us were upset with God that this child who he placed in front of the apostles as an object lesson would be allowed to suffer so much.

But once again we have much to learn from our sister Cathy.  Jesus did not promise that we would be free from suffering.  He promised that he would be with us through all that we had to bear.

Jesus loves her.

And Jesus was with her!

Cathy was Jesus’ friend.  Can any of us doubt it? 

Cathy loved much like Jesus did -- totally, completely and entirely.  Can any of us doubt it? 

Cathy is now with her mom, in heaven, and together they pray for us – so that we might be:

humble,

spontaneous

and loving – always loving. 

Together they pray that we might live lives of love so that we might join them in eternal life.

Saint Cathy – We will always love you!!!!!

Cathy -- We will always love you!!!